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Don't live life carrying the consequences of toxic engagements. It's time to clean up our lives of the toxic people who are killing our hearts.

How to tell if your friends are the reason you’re not thriving

Identifying the toxic people in your life and what to do about them. 

Have you ever noticed that when you are around certain people that you feel off?

You cannot put your finger on it, but you know something is different.

Your whole vibe changed.

You no longer feel upbeat. Then you realize that you are fighting with some deep emotional stuff. Anger, irritation, frustration, and all sorts of emotions begin to show up.

Then a realization happens. 

You realize that you were happy until you came in contact with this one person.

This type of person is toxic to your emotional health.

The subconscious knew it. Your soul knew it. Even your heart knew it. Your mind may not have come to the conclusion that this person is toxic to you.

Wouldn’t you like to identify the toxic people in your life and know what to do with them?

Don't live life carrying the consequences of toxic engagements. It's time to clean up our lives of the toxic people who are killing our hearts.

Toxic people can be cancerous to you.

The longer they remain in your life the more damage they cause.

[bctt tweet=”Just as cancer destroys the body a toxic person can destroy you emotionally. #emotionalslide #fightforhealth” username=”jim_Burgoon”]

When you get around them you feel angry, sad, fatigued, and/or emotionally drained.

Now before you take offense. 

If you are thinking that this blog is about you, or that I am being unloving, let me challenge you with something.

We all have a level of toxicity. 


We are all emotionally damaged.

Not all damaged people are toxic.


Many people become toxic because they ignore their damaged parts of their lives. 

Adding more damage to what is already there. Never working through the original damage.

All that emotional damage begins to drain the life out of you.

Then you become a shell of your former emotional self.

Then, before you realize it, you are bitter and isolated. Ready to jump on anyone who offends your sensibility.


[bctt tweet=”People who have been emotionally unhealthy for a long time become toxic. #toxicpeople #dontletithappen” username=”jim_Burgoon”]

If you refuse to work on your emotional health you could become toxic.

[bctt tweet=”The longer you allow your damage to fester the more poisonous it becomes. #soulcare” username=”jim_Burgoon”]

When you spend time with toxic people you will be emotionally drained trying to help them. 

If I am trying to fight for my emotional health then I have to be careful and cautious on who I let into my life. I have to be careful with who I try to help. 

It is time to decide if you are healthy enough to carry someone else.

Honesty time: 

I can to pray for everyone, but I cannot help everyone.

Although I try to help everyone I have to realize that I cannot. I also have to realize that those I am trying to help may be hurting me more than I am helping them.

In the fight for my emotional health, I have to decide who I allow into my life.

I have to also judge what access I give them to my life. 

We are all given a choice of who we spend our time with.  Who we give our lives to.

We have to pick who our inner circle is wisely.

This single choice could be the pathway to our freedom or the pathway to our downfall.

Hans F. Hansen once said,

“People inspire you or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” 

The cold hard truth:

We allow the wrong people access to the deepest part of who we are.

So how do you know that you may be dealing with a toxic person?

1. You dread being around them.

One of the sure signs that you are interacting with a toxic person is that you dread being around them. You avoid making plans with them. When you do make plans they are for shorter periods of time. Fear of being around them drives your interactions with them. Your palms sweat, the heart races, and your mind starts creating vain imaginations.

All signs of fear and dread of being around this person.

The greater the dread the more likely you are dealing with a toxic person. 

2. You have a physical or emotional response whenever you interact with them.

I remember this one individual. Every time I was in their proximity my heart would race. My palms would start sweating. I would develop a headache.  Worst of all, I would shut down emotionally. All the symptoms of increased stress. This wasn’t an isolated incident.

It happened every time. 

A one-time incident doesn’t equate to toxic interactions. Every time does. 

3. You’re exhausted or angry after interacting with them.

It takes a lot of energy to be around people that drain you. It costs a lot of time and energy when that person creates emotional and mental stress.

One telltale sign that you are engaging with a toxic individual is how you feel after the interaction.

If you leave worse off that you showed up then you are liekly engaging with a toxic person.  

4.   You feel bad about yourself.

This is a big one for me. I would dread being around this person. Having a physical and emotional response to the stress.  I became angry after an interaction with them.

Then I would feel terrible about myself.  

I thought that I was awful for feeling this way. Felling like I wasn’t a good person. I felt like I had failed people. Living under that weight of thinkg that I had failed Jesus.

Then I realized something.  

My emotional tank was drained from my interactions. 

My own insecurities started to overtake my emotional health. 

What do I do now?

Remember these tips when interacting with people who may be toxic

Not everyone is toxic.

So don’t judge people based on your insecurities. Sometimes what we believe to be toxic is just someone living a life and trying to make it. Be kind to them.

You must limit your time with toxic people or remove them all together.

Your own emotional health is at stake.

The more we hang around toxic people the more toxic we become. 

So to guard my own emotional health I have to either limit my time or cut my relationship ties with them.

Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life, you will never grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow.

A weed will kill a plant. Drain it of nutrients. Be healthy. Be the best version of you that you can be.

Letting go of negative, and toxic, people doesn’t mean you hate them. It just means that you love yourself more.

Dr. Steve Maraboli said it this way,

“Let go of people who dull your shine, poison your spirit, and bring you drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues.”

[bctt tweet=”Stop being afraid to hurt everyones feelings and start fighting for your health. #fightstrong #freedom” username=”jim_Burgoon”]

Sometimes you have to hurt someone’s feelings to focus on your own. learn to be ok with that. Your goal is to be healthy not become toxic.

Run from the toxic and run to health.

One truth that I have learned in my experience is that no one is toxic to everyone, but we all are toxic to someone.

The bottom line: You love everyone, but you only spend time with some.

[bctt tweet=”Live well. Live healed. Live on. #livefortoday #livingforfreedom” username=”jim_Burgoon”]

Join the conversation:

How have you discovered if a person is toxic in your life? What advice would you give to someone who may be struggling with this topic?

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About the Author Jim