At this moment, people are fighting for their lives.
You may be fighting for your life. The only reason you haven’t told anyone is because you are afraid of what they might think.
In reality, this battle is not seen on the outside. It is an internal battle that rages and rages. A battle that goes unnoticed. A battle that is as strong as any physical battle.
It is the battle of whether you will commit suicide or not.
I was 15 years old when I made an attempt on my life.
I remember the pain that I was feeling. It felt as if the entire world was coming down around me. I needed an escape. All I could think about was ending my life to escape the pain.
I thank God that I had a close friend who helped me through it. That isn’t the case for everyone. Some people do not have anyone to turn to.
Suicidal thoughts are dangerous. When you do not have anyone to support you they can be deadly.
It seemed so long ago. I attempted to take my life a total of 3 times. They were all made through the ages of 10 and 17 years old.
I was going through a lot of pain and personal trauma at that time.
It was hard to get a grounded sensation that I was going to be ok. Every day was a battle for my life. I don’t know how I made it through those years.
Around age 17 all those thoughts and feelings seemed to go away. Since then I haven’t struggled with suicide or thoughts of suicide.It is possible that I am one of the blessed ones. To be resilient enough to make through the most difficult times and not look back.
Then I am confronted with a truth.
People are fighting for victory over their thoughts.
Every day the battle for their lives begins again.
My wife is one of the fighters.
This last week was very challenging for my family. My wife spent time hospitalized for her thoughts.
This makes the 3rd incident where she spent time hospitalized. 2 of those stays have been over the last 5 months.
There has been a diagnosis given to her. The diagnosis isn’t as important as the battle she fights. You can call it whatever you want. It doesn’t change the fact that she fights for her life every day.
The raging thoughts are almost too much. Sure, she has periods of time when she isn’t fighting as hard. The medicines help with that. Yet, the medicines are not meant to remove the issue.
Medicines are useful for managing symptoms. Medicines do not completely remove the symptoms.
One of the biggest symptoms that she struggles with is suicidal ideation.
She is not alone.
As a matter of fact, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Suicide was more deadly than car crashes, gun violence, drowning, and so many others.
That statistic doesn’t include attempts.
For every suicide that ended in death, there were 12 attempts.
That only includes the recorded attempts.
There may be a lot more unrecorded attempts.
The number are both staggering and heartbreaking.
Google it and see for yourself.
No one wants to become a statistic.
My thoughts are that YOU do not want to become a statistic.
The fight to stay alive is exhausting. Don’t stop fighting. You are needed.
Having to explain yourself to so many people is also exhausting. Together, my wife and I have been battling this for 17 years. She has battled with this longer.
Then I start to think about you.
How long have you been battling?
When did the fight start for you?
Have you found any help?
You are most likely exhausted as well.
I want to encourage you!
If you are fighting against suicide. You are not alone. There are others out there that are fighting as well. #suicidefight
Don’t give up hope!
For those of you who want to know more about the struggle. Allow me to give you 4 myths that are common when talk of suicide comes up.
First, a myth is a held but false belief or idea.
With that understanding let’s look at the myths.
4 Common Myths About Suicide
Myth #1: Suicidal thoughts are a choice.
Many of the thoughts are a result of a mental or emotional disorder. They could be the results of years of trauma.
Suicidal thoughts are not voluntary they are often part of a condition.
Every person who I have spoken with wishes the thoughts would stop. They would give anything to make them stop.
Myth #2: Those who attempt suicide are weak.
My wife is my hero. Why?
Because she is facing incredible odds, but she keeps fighting. No matter how bad it gets or how often she has to go to the hospital she keeps fighting.
That is not weakness.
There is a strength there that is beyond me. I would like to think I am that strong, but I do not think I am.
If you are still alive after everything you have been through and you continue the fight then you are a hero.
Keep fighting. You are still needed here.
Myth #3: People who talk about suicide are trying to get attention.
People who die by suicide usually talk about it first. Learn to listen.
People who are in pain oftentimes reach out for help because they do not know what to do and have lost hope.
They are not trying to get attention they are trying to get your help.
Do not ignore the suicidal conversation. It is a subtle cry for help. Listen to the cry and take action.
Myth #4: Those who try to commit suicide want to die.
There has never been a point where my wife said she wanted to die.
We were sitting in a session with her therapist when my eyes were open to this.
The therapist looked at my wife and asked her two questions.
#1: Do you want to do?
Her answer? No, I do not want to die.
#2: Then why are you trying to kill yourself?
What she said brought so much realness to this subject.
I am trying to escape the pain.
A thought floored me. She isn’t trying to kill herself, but suicide is the only option she thinks she has to escape the pain she feels. The pain of the past, the racing thoughts, and the stress of life.
It is all too much for her. She doesn’t want to die. My wife wants to rest and relief from the constant struggle.
At this point, I wanted to cry.
It must be so tiring for her. There may be some of you who are reading this finding yourself in the story.
Her story hasn’t ended and neither has yours.
The story doesn’t end here. Not at this juncture. God isn’t through with you.
I know that you the pain is very intense for you. I watch my wife go through it.
She is a fighting with the heart of a lion.
I am willing to bet that if you are reading this then you are as well.
You are a fighter with the heart of a lion. So keep fighting.
Whether you are the one fighting or someone fighting for someone else you have to keep fighting!
No matter what happens there is ALWAYS hope.
Let me give you 3 practical things to help you in your struggle.
1. GET HELP
If you are someone who struggles with suicidal ideation please seek help.
Find a doctor or therapist that you can see on a regular basis.
Suicide is not a joke. It is serious. We must treat it as such. #gethelp #suicide
If you do no feel safe then you need to call 911.
You can also call:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Available 24 hours every day.
If you are someone who doesn’t struggle with suicide you can still help. Help connect your friends to the right people.
Have the above number programmed in your phone.
Your help and support could mean the difference between life and death for someone close to you.
2. FIND SOMEONE YOU CAN TALK TO
Everyone needs someone to talk to.
If you are struggling with suicidal ideation then please find a friend you can talk with.
The person has to be kind and understanding. They also have to be able to give you hard truth. You don’t want someone to agree with you. What you want is someone to support you and help through it.
If the person asks:
1. Why are you being so selfish?
2. Are you even thinking about anyone else?
Then they are not the right people to be in your life.
You want someone who will be supportive and honest with you. Don’t open up to people who do not have your best interest at heart.
If you do not struggle with suicide, I encourage you to be the kind of person that can walk through this with someone.
Be open and kind. Learn to be honest. Be firm in the decisions you make (Like baker acting them). Above all else, be understanding and loving. They need it.
3. DON’T FIGHT THIS ALONE
My wife will not have to fight this alone. She will have me by her side.
I do not plan on ever leaving my wife. I made a commitment. My wedding vows mean something to me me. So no matter how hard this gets I am standing by my wife. I am fighting for her and with her.
If you struggle with this then find someone healthy enough to struggle alongside.
If you do not struggle with this then be that someone who is willing to struggle with someone.
You are not weak for feeling these things.
You are not feeble because you struggle.
There is something on the inside of you that needs healing. Don’t run from it anymore. Face it.
fight each day.
Always take talk about suicide seriously. Always. #suicideisserious
People still need you.
My prayers are for you!
Here is what I want you to do next.
1. Subscribe to this blog.
It would be an honor to continue this journey with you.
2. Comment below.
It would love to have you join the conversation. I love hearing different perspectives, tips I did not cover, and how I can add more value to you. I reply to every comment 🙂
Medicines are useful for managing symptoms. Medicines do not completely remove the symptoms. Click To Tweet
Do not ignore the suicidal conversation. It is a subtle cry for help. Listen to the cry and take… Click To Tweet